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Caffeine Withdrawal is Now a Mental Disorder

Avatar Posted on: 2013-06-12 12:00 AM
For those of us who drink more than 3 cups of coffee a day during the week and wake up with a headache on Sunday morning this is not news.
 
According to the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders excessive caffeine intake can lead to a condition know as “Caffeine Intoxication”. Unfortunately it’s not the same warm blissful feeling that we get from other methods of intoxication.
 
The article goes on to say that If you’ve had more than two to three cups of brewed coffee and experienced five or more of the following symptoms, you’re probably on a caffeine high:
Restlessness, nervousness, excitement, insomnia, flushed face, diuresis gastrointestinal disturbance, muscle twitching, rambling flow of thought and speech, tachycardia or cardiac arrhythmia, periods of inexhaustibility or psychomotor agitation. In short if you’re on your third cup and are rambling, twitching and jumping up and down on one foot you’re probably buzzed.
 
AHHHH, that is my life. The world around me seems to move in super-fast motion until I have had my first cup of coffee.  By noon I’ve had my second cup and the world and I are in sync and around 3 in the afternoon I’m having my third cup of Jo and mere mortals are moving in slow motion. If it’s a hectic day my fifth and I’m moving with the speed of a super hero with yellow wings on his head.
 
But like anything there is a cost.  My routine on the weekend revolves around catching up with my family, walking the dogs and doing chores around the house.  I’m a one coffee Saturday sort of guy. My Sunday is another matter. By this time my body is in the early stages of caffeine withdrawal. Somewhere during a restful sleep on Saturday my body starts to demand coffee, (my caffeine delivery system of choice). Sleeping past 8am rewards me with a monstrous headache and a grumpy disposition. My lovely wife very much aware of this will often disappear a few minutes earlier and reappear with two cups of coffee a snack and the paper.
 
My goal now is to get Caffeine withdrawal listed on the conditions supported by my benefits plan short term disability rider. Wouldn’t that be a great phone call to my boss…”I’m in caffeine withdrawal and my doctor says I’m a hazard to be around and I need five days in Mexico to detox.”
 
Enjoy that cup of coffee but remember to sip it responsibly.

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